Things That Frustrate Me
- My boyfriend hardly want to talk to me and suddenly I barely want to do anything.
- I have to get up at 6 tomorrow, I don't think I can do that.
- I ran out of cash.
- These stuffs about being 12th grader make my stomach sick. I don't want to think about it, yet I have to.
- School assignments drive me nuts, there are tons of homeworks to be done, physics of remedy test to come, some TF to take, yet I almost know nothing about this term subject focuses.
- I haven't done any layout for The Yearbook, the article and material aren't even complete yet, had to wait for them and the deadline is 1st of May. How can I just wait?
- I said yes to a responsibility I'm not sure I can handle.
- School's coming in two days.
- I want to hang out with my boyfriend. I've been waiting for this the whole day but I piss him off and he called the event off. I don't blame him, I'm just upset.
- I'm sorry
Seventeen + Some More Days
So I have to change my about me section as soon as possible since the age stated there is no longer true. Yes Nunu today is the seventeen-year-old one since at this year's 17th of April she has turned seventeen!
My first 17th birthday cake was from my kind-hearted fellows of 11 Science B
It was this second break of the day, I was kind of upset cause I have no company at that moment. Having no company at your birthday, admit it, it sucks. But then suddenly little crowd of people approached me and the song "Happy Birthday to You" started to fade in--only the word "to you" was replaced with my name :--D
I swear, the first thing came to my mind was "Wey, who's birthday is it?" hahaha weeeird, but then it took me merely seconds to realised that I was that lucky birthday girl. They wished me a happy birthday, I blew the candles, then we ate the cake together ♥
The second (and the most unique one) was from my beloved fomer class, Xepele.
They gave it to me after school ends. Suddenly they came through the canteen with an decorated board and seventeen pieces of ...Kue Tete. I laughed hard when I saw these LOL
The cake I'm talking about
They said there was a wisdom behind why-they-chose-kue-tete; it's a symbol of maturity which is what the number 17 is all about. This made me laugh even harder.
So there were 17 pieces of it and each one of them was attached with lit candle, certain people hold certain piece and I have to blew all the candles off! So I blew them all and ate a piece out of seventeen. The most delicious Kue Tete I've ever eaten, tasted like Happy Birthday haha
The board was decorated with drawing of me (which was so creative, they used wool for my hair and the ends were curly, omg! My braces were made of square colourful beads, and for the clothing they used remnants with various prints) and at the back there were signatures of my friends, all wishing me a happy birthday!
The Board in the making
The Board and one of the 17 Cakes
Q : What's it like, being seventeen?
A : Well, for me it's practically the same.
- Having the real I.D card? Well yeah it's still in the process till this day and I think once it's finished it'll just stuck on my wallet like my student card and other cards is (which I had before I'm seventeen).
- Being legitimate when it comes to applying for driver's license? Well my parent's not interested in buying me wheels of my own and none of people around me have enough time to teach me how to drive, so....
- Having access to watch films rated for adults? Well the sixteen-year-old-and-previous me has watched some films with adult rating (I'm not speaking of porn here)
My first 17th birthday cake was from my kind-hearted fellows of 11 Science B
It was this second break of the day, I was kind of upset cause I have no company at that moment. Having no company at your birthday, admit it, it sucks. But then suddenly little crowd of people approached me and the song "Happy Birthday to You" started to fade in--only the word "to you" was replaced with my name :--D
I swear, the first thing came to my mind was "Wey, who's birthday is it?" hahaha weeeird, but then it took me merely seconds to realised that I was that lucky birthday girl. They wished me a happy birthday, I blew the candles, then we ate the cake together ♥
Blowing Candles
They gave it to me after school ends. Suddenly they came through the canteen with an decorated board and seventeen pieces of ...Kue Tete. I laughed hard when I saw these LOL
The cake I'm talking about
They said there was a wisdom behind why-they-chose-kue-tete; it's a symbol of maturity which is what the number 17 is all about. This made me laugh even harder.
So there were 17 pieces of it and each one of them was attached with lit candle, certain people hold certain piece and I have to blew all the candles off! So I blew them all and ate a piece out of seventeen. The most delicious Kue Tete I've ever eaten, tasted like Happy Birthday haha
The board was decorated with drawing of me (which was so creative, they used wool for my hair and the ends were curly, omg! My braces were made of square colourful beads, and for the clothing they used remnants with various prints) and at the back there were signatures of my friends, all wishing me a happy birthday!
The Board in the making
The Board and one of the 17 Cakes
The third cake was from my boyfriend. He gave the cake and a birthday gift while we were alone together. He always said earlier to me that he want to give his own treat for me personally, when there are only the two of us, and he really did ♥
I need to catch my ride to Bandung later that day, cause my brother was about to officially graduate from his college the next day. So Mbe drove me to the travel office and then I went to Bandung at seven pm.
This is when I realised that my father forgot my birthday. Yeah, the only stain of the day. Pffft but oh well
I arrived at around half past nine, and this was when I received my fourth cake, which was from my family (well technically my father didn't participate, but anyways) along with a birthday present
It's kind of hard to say goodbye to the day, to let go of those zests. But time didn't give a damn, that's why today's 23rd of April, not 17th. But maybe it's good that time flies, cause up till today I still carry the happiness lots of people gave me and from that I learned that true happiness, stays. :--)
Thank you very berry much,
xx
Nunu (17)
This is when I realised that my father forgot my birthday. Yeah, the only stain of the day. Pffft but oh well
I arrived at around half past nine, and this was when I received my fourth cake, which was from my family (well technically my father didn't participate, but anyways) along with a birthday present
Thank you very berry much,
xx
Nunu (17)
I'm 63% Mentally Ill
[x] You have screamed at an inanimate object for 'hurting you.'
[ ] You have run into a glass/screen door.
[x] You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.
[x] You have thought of something funny and laughed, and then people gave you weird looks.
[x] You have run into a tree/bush.
[ ] You have been called a blonde.
subtotal: 4
[ ] You know that it IS possible to lick your elbow.
[ ] You just tried to lick your elbow.
[ ] You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star had the same melody.
[ ] You just sang them to make sure.
[x] You have tripped on your own feet.
[x] You have choked on your own spit.
subtotal: 6
[ ] You have seen the Matrix and still don't get it.
[ ] You type with three fingers or less.
[ ] You have accidentally caught something on fire.
[x] You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose
[x] You have caught yourself drooling.
subtotal: 8
[x] You have fallen asleep in class.
[x] Sometimes you just stop thinking.
[ ] Sometimes when you are telling a story you forget what you are talking about.
[ ] People often shake their heads and walk away from you
[ ] You are often told to use your 'inside voice'
subtotal: 10
[ ] You use your fingers to do simple math.
[x] You have eaten a bug accidentally
[x] You are taking this test when you should be doing something more important.
[x] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it.
[x] You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand/pocket the whole time.
subtotal: 14
[x] You have posted bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen if you don't.
[x] You break a lot of things.
[x] You tilt your head when you're confused.
[x] You have fallen out of your chair before.
[x] When you're lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture on the ceiling.
[x] The word "um" is used frequently.
[ ] You don't know what "um" means.
[x] You say "what" and "huh" a lot.
[ ] You plan to use a calculator to multiply your score for this bulletin.
Subtotal: 21
Total: 21
NOW, take your total, and multiply it by 3
and re-post as: I am --% Mentally ill.
[ ] You have run into a glass/screen door.
[x] You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.
[x] You have thought of something funny and laughed, and then people gave you weird looks.
[x] You have run into a tree/bush.
[ ] You have been called a blonde.
subtotal: 4
[ ] You know that it IS possible to lick your elbow.
[ ] You just tried to lick your elbow.
[ ] You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star had the same melody.
[ ] You just sang them to make sure.
[x] You have tripped on your own feet.
[x] You have choked on your own spit.
subtotal: 6
[ ] You have seen the Matrix and still don't get it.
[ ] You type with three fingers or less.
[ ] You have accidentally caught something on fire.
[x] You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose
[x] You have caught yourself drooling.
subtotal: 8
[x] You have fallen asleep in class.
[x] Sometimes you just stop thinking.
[ ] Sometimes when you are telling a story you forget what you are talking about.
[ ] People often shake their heads and walk away from you
[ ] You are often told to use your 'inside voice'
subtotal: 10
[ ] You use your fingers to do simple math.
[x] You have eaten a bug accidentally
[x] You are taking this test when you should be doing something more important.
[x] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it.
[x] You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand/pocket the whole time.
subtotal: 14
[x] You have posted bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen if you don't.
[x] You break a lot of things.
[x] You tilt your head when you're confused.
[x] You have fallen out of your chair before.
[x] When you're lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture on the ceiling.
[x] The word "um" is used frequently.
[ ] You don't know what "um" means.
[x] You say "what" and "huh" a lot.
[ ] You plan to use a calculator to multiply your score for this bulletin.
Subtotal: 21
Total: 21
NOW, take your total, and multiply it by 3
and re-post as: I am --% Mentally ill.
Mraz Sings,
And do you know what it’s like to want her?
And to breathe her name in every song you sing?
She's in everything...
P.S
I find this heartbreaking.
A Chat Log From 17th April 2008
(10:26 PM) Nunu : kayanya aku agak lumayan sedikit ngerti cinta mbe heheI was turning 16 that day.
(10:27 PM) mbe : :-)
(10:27 PM) mbe : hehe
(10:27 PM) mbe : hmm
(10:27 PM) mbe : bagus dong
(10:27 PM) Nunu : hahaha
(10:27 PM) mbe : cinta itu apa?
(10:28 PM) Nunu : bukan sesuatu yang bisa diketik
Hahaha but aw come on Nu, you can do better!
Please Stab Me With Something
Today. Sucks. Like. So. Bad
Fuck you it's April's Fool, why can't I have some fun?
It turned out that my hard heart had turned a friend into tears. Yeah I made my friend cry. But I mean hello, I could cry out of chafe yesterday if I wasn't good enough at controlling those damned water, has anyone told you? I was sorry to see her cry AND FUCK I FELT GUILT, but as always these two voices inside kept on contradict each other and one of them kept on screaming something like "Now why should I feel guiltyyyy?"
And there's also this other friend--trying to act as mediator, he kept talking and kept talking and kept talking and I was like "Hey man shut the hell up like you know whether I was prepared to talk about this with her or not," and I did verbalize that to him but his tongue just kept on going on and on and on, God! I'm mad offended already, why make things worse? I mean I know he meant it in a good way, that he wanted to helped both me and my crying friend to solve things out and I did appreciate it but just... don't do it overly, will you?
Ah, I'm sorry for being so abstract here by not plainly telling what actually is going on. Since I'm in such emotion, I know all I write, however I try to soften it up, is gonna be harsh--I can be so cruel at times. I think it's no good, telling people what thing who does in a negative way. And I know I do use profanity words here but at least I'm not saying it to anyone. I fuck my feelings, not anyone.
And for you, you know who you are; I know you're sorry, I know you regret what you did, and now that you've apologise, I accept it. But that just doesn't cut it. I'm pretty disappointed you let other person saying lines you should've said instead of saying it by yourself. Come on girl, where's your guts? If there's one thing that can make things go back to usual, you know it will be your guts.
After that school's first break came. I couldn't wait to see my boyfriend, I emotionally needed to talk to him like so much but all I know was that he was about to took off the first second he arrived at my class. Okay, another emotion crack. Then I asked him what date is it, he said 1st April. Good, he forgot that this meant we've been together for full 14 months now. Again, another emotion crack. He said sorry (once?) and I was still pissed, it's not just about him.
Yet he's the one who made the tiny fun part of this horrible day so...
He cracked up jokes and made me laugh after I tried my best to curve a smile (read:comprehend my ego) Yeah I laughed cause you know what he was like sooo funny even when I'm mad at him but up till now he still says nothing about that month thingy. Is that unimportant? For me it's important. I'll deal with it that he forgot, but if he really says nothing at all till I go to bed, I know I'll be irritated.
When my mom came home at around seven, she asked me about whether I've watered the garden or not. Shit of course I forgot that she asked me to do that this very early morning. Unsincerely I walked to my garden and started the faucet but the water discharge was so dull it's hard to reach far with it. When I tried to go deeper in the garden A FROG APPROACHED ME. Hell why would there be A FROG in my garden?! *^@)&*@-+$*%!!!
Honestly, at the moment until this second I can hear my heart pounding out of anger, hatred, irritation, wrath, whatever, you name it.
God o mighty God, why all these annoying moments had to happen all in a day? I know, things could go far worse but now I'm non-physically so exhausted. I'm so angry I could cry.
Sorry for the Oh-so-long-and-full-of-rant post, please understand that I'm having a horribly rough day. And if you're reading, thank you.
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