Thursday

...Did you ever had the moment?

The moment when everything clicks wondrously fine one another,
Which makes you can't help yourself but to smile wider
And one that makes you realise how much God loves you,
While wishing it won't be over by the next blink you do

Perhaps it's when the sun shines and your hair went jumbled
With wind stroking land, and sea ripping sand
Or when the thunder rumbled
With you and your camera at hand

It could be the clouds covering your head
While you've done all the laundries in bed
Or maybe the smell of spring
While some buds sing and you jam the strings

...But the rain,
Has never fail to affect the lane
Along with its sound and scent
And the coolness that bent
While soothingly you linger,
In the arms of your lover

Now, tell.
Did you ever had the moment?






...I just did.

28/8 2008; 6:33 PM
NFL-

Hubungan Antara Mata dan Tidur

Tepat satu hari yang lalu, kakak gue cerita bahwa ada satu juniornya temennya yang tidur saat ospek dengan mata terbuka. Bahkan ia sempat berkedip.

Karena pertama kali denger ada yang kaya gitu, jadilah gue dengan noraknya menceritakan hal ini kepada beberapa orang dan mendapat respon yang relatif berbeda satu dengan lainnya;

"Ngga mungkin lah...! Itu tuh palingan bengong tapi sampe yang nggak sadar gitu bengongnya."
"Ya ampun dia tidur Lang, bukan bengong!"
"Tau dari mana dia tidur?"
"Di coba dibangunin, tapi ngga sadar-sadar. Pake ngedip, malah."
"Nah iya! Itu tuh bengong!"
"Tiduuuur!"
"Ngga mungkinlah melek pas tidur, blablabla..." (ngomong ilimiah gitu dia, lupa gue haha)
"Aduh tapi itu tuh yadayadayada.." (sok-sok berargumen, padahal modal sok tau doang)
Entah kenapa kita sama-sama ngotot sama pendapat sendiri sampai lama-lama mulai asal ngomongnya dan akhirnya malah ngelantur ke topik lain...
-Faza


"Hahaha itu sih akting."
"Nggaaa, tidur beneran!"
"Akting! Nih, aku juga bisa." (Mempraktekkan)
"Coba ya." (Gangguin biar aktingnya gagal)
....Beberapa saat dan tak ada reaksi
"Tuh kan." (Bangga)
"Ahahahaaa iya deh" (Ketawa-ketawa sendiri)
-Mbe



"Ya ampun ada-ada aja sih ckckck"
"Iya, aneh ya Ma?"
...Reaksi yang cukup datar ya haha
-Mother

Kalo gue sendiri sih ngakak sampe sakit perut pas diceritain, karena langsung ngebayangin setting kejadiannya, yang banyak orang ngeliatin terus senior-seniornya orang-orang pada ngebangunin. Dan kayanya serem banget, gitu, orang melek tapi tidur. Tapi menarik, sih, hahaha. Dan anehnya gue malah ngotot gitu kalo ada orang yang bilang dia ngga tidur sebenarnya, padahal bisa aja kan kakak gue boong kan ya -___- hahaa

Nah then I interested dan googling buat nyari tau, "Tidur ngga merem beneran ada atau ngga sih?" dan ternyata............. memang ada.

"Do you sleep with your eyes open or do you close them? Are you prone to drooling as well? If you slumber with your eyes open while sleeping, you and about a million other people (possibly a billion other people world-wide) share the disorder of keeping the eyes open while asleep." (Taken from here)

Dan kata para penderitanya sih, tidur sambil merem itu bikin mata kering pas bangun dan pengelihatan jadi buram sesaat sampai matanya basah lagi. Gue sempet ngebayangin gitu kalo gue punya disorder yang sama jadi bisa tidur kapan aja ya pas pelajaran hahaha tapi jangan deh, soalnya ada yang sampe make tape (gue ngga ngerti tape macem apa) gitu buat mata pas tidur biar tetep ketutup dan ngga mengering.

Eh atau jangan-jangan one of you ada yang kaya gini? Atau apakah lo adalah orang yang diceritakan kakak gue? Waah pertanyaan mana pun, kalo jawabannya iya, gue no offense yaa ehehehe

....Tapi ya ampun sampe sekarang gue masih pengen ketawa sendiri kalo ngebayangin si junior orang itu tidur sambil melek :---D

Mother oh Mother

I'm a bit pissed about how i'm feeling that my mother is sooo permissive-less lately.

See, I have this english lesson tomorrow. Actually the lesson is quite okay, but the hour sucks, really bad. First, it's on Saturday. And second, it starts at noon. Which means, I practically have such a small space to find some fun with anyone except my family every Saturdays, since my parents, esp my mother, really stress the night-hour thingy.

Some will say, "Change schedule, then."

I almost do. But rescheduling is kinda malesin yeknow haha. And come to think about me only have to spend another six months then the course is done, jadi ngerasa tanggung aja dan memutuskan untuk bersabar.

But just tomorrow, my xepele will have like this hang out together thing and i reaally want to come. So i asked meine Mutter about taking the lesson off tomorrow and she was just declining right ahead. I know, it's not a weird thing for parents to not allowing their kids to skip classes, but it's just... i don't know. It got on my nerve quick.

And then this October Avenged Sevenfold will come to town and play a gig, i asked for permission but then again. She said no. And no. And no. And no. AND NO. Oooh I have to get the YES as soon as possible, but it just annoying how we will go for an argue every time i tried to. But i want to go...

Actually I've seen them once but I was such a newbie when it comes to concerts back then (not that I'm an expert now...) so I was busy pushing people so I can be in the front row instead of actually watch them play. After the concert was off, i was sooo swear to myself "I definitely will watch them again next time they come", AND THEY DO so i should do too, right?

Right. Any tips on how to persuade mothers?

Perhaps

Perhaps it's me making big of unimportant things, me losing my nice prejudices, me taking my prestige to high. Perhaps it's just the mood, the hormones. Perhaps it's you not being sensitive enough to know what i was thinking. Or perhaps it's just... nothing?

But seeing turning-silent you was not pleasant, and staring at the window dwelling on bad thoughts was definitely not on my things-i-would-like-to-do list.

...Do you know what I like about after-schools? Haven't I told you? Perhaps I haven't, but showing you, I did it almost everyday. When I did, did you realize?

Were you just sleepy?
Or tired?
What are you feeling?
What's on your brain?

I'm thinking about you..................................

Viva la Vida by Coldplay

Pertama kali denger, kalo ngga salah pas VMA atau apaa gitu di MTV tahun 2008. First impression, bagus. Nada dan rhythm-nya asik, uncommon. Liriknya nggak terlalu kedengeran, tapi i intended to find out. Terus gue nungguin sampe lagunya selesai tapi ternyata judulnya tidak muncul haha. Waktu itu sih biasa aja, cuma agak ngerasa sayang soalnya lagunya bagus and I wanted to explore it.

Terus beberapa minggu kemudian, i heard Violet Hill, which like Viva la Vida, has the uncommon rhythm. I thought it was it. Hahahaa gue kira Violet Hill itu Viva la Vida, soalnya udah lamaaa dengernya jadi agak lupa nadanya. So i googled the lyrics, and added the song to my playlist.

Naaah terus tadi pagi, i was watching channel [V] dan ada vclipnya Coldplay, which was not Violet Hill. Dan gue kaya inget sesuatu gitu pas denger lagunya. Dan baru nyadar yang kaya "Waah ini dia lagunyaaa!" dan untungnya itu vclip, jadi pas di akhir lagu pasti ada creditnya. After I found out the title, I used limewire and googled the lyrics.

I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sweep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own

I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing:
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"
One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt, pillars of sand

[Chorus:]
I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can not explain
Once you go there was never, never an honest word
That was when I ruled the world

It was the wicked and wild wind
Blew down the doors to let me in.
Shattered windows and the sound of drums
People could not believe what I'd become
Revolutionaries Wait
For my head on a silver plate
Just a puppet on a lonely string
Oh who would ever want to be king?

I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can not explain
I know Saint Peter will call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world [x2]

And hell, jujur ya, sebenarnya gw belum ngerti 100% apa arti lagunya yang sebenernya tapi gw ngerasa kaya dapet feelnya. The words are just... apa yah. They're perfectly telling the story. It's perhaps about the washed-out prosperousness, how people may only judge you by your glory, and... it sucks to lose things, especially when they're all you used to be about.

That's just lyrically, not to mention the musical parts, how the orchestra instruments opened the song, how the percussion sounded beautifully haunting, and how the beat and the vocal delivered the song grandiosely.

How's the song in you ear? Does it fascinate you as how it does me? Or you have another interpretation about it? Haven't heard it yet? Well I've embedded the song at the sidebar. You can take a listen if you like.

Oh and now Alexander's playing the song for the 20th times. Maybe it will keep playing and be my company through the night :-D

Well, have a splendid night, everyone!

I'm a Dreamy Idealist

I just tried this free online personality test few minutes ago, and the result says that I'm a Dreamy Idealist, and they gave me a button. So I read the result, bolded and crossed ones that don't really describe me, bolded lines that are truer than others, and bolded and italic-ed ones that are... oh whatever.

Well here they are;

Dreamy Idealists are very cautious and therefore often appear shy and reserved to others. They share their rich emotional life and their passionate convictions with very few people. But one would be very much mistaken to judge them to be cool and reserved. They have a pronounced inner system of values and clear, honourable principles for which they are willing to sacrifice a great deal. Joan of Arc or Sir Galahad would have been good examples of this personality type. Dreamy Idealists are always at great pains to improve the world. They can be very considerate towards others and do a lot to support them and stand up for them. They are interested in their fellow beings, attentive and generous towards them. Once their enthusiasm for an issue or person is aroused, they can become tireless fighters.

For Dreamy Idealists, practical things are not really so important. They only busy themselves with mundane everyday demands when absolutely necessary. They tend to live according to the motto “the genius controls the chaos” - which is normally the case so that they often have a very successful academic career. They are less interested in details; they prefer to look at something as a whole. This means that they still have a good overview even when things start to become hectic. However, as a result, it can occasionally happen that Dreamy Idealists overlook something important. As they are very peace-loving, they tend not to openly show their dissatisfaction or annoyance but to bottle it up. Assertiveness is not one of their strong points; they hate conflicts and competition. Dreamy Idealists prefer to motivate others with their amicable and enthusiastic nature. Whoever has them as superior will never have to complain about not being given enough praise.

As at work, Dreamy Idealists are helpful and loyal friends and partners, persons of integrity. Obligations are absolutely sacred to them. The feelings of others are important to them and they love making other people happy. They are satisfied with just a small circle of friends; their need for social contact is not very marked as they also need a lot of time to themselves. Superfluous small talk is not their thing. If one wishes to be friends with them or have a relationship with them, one would have to share their world of thought and be willing to participate in profound discussions. If you manage that you will be rewarded with an exceptionally intensive, rich partnership. Due to their high demands on themselves and others, this personality type tends however to sometimes overload the relationship with romantic and idealistic ideas to such an extent that the partner feels overtaxed or inferior. Dreamy Idealists do not fall in love head over heels but when they do fall in love they want this to be a great, eternal love.

....

So there are more bolded lines than crossed ones. Means, the test are pretty much accurate. I interested in other results though... So how's your result? Interested in taking the test? If so, try it. And when you done, why don't you share the result with me? :-D

Anyways, have a good day, mates!

Selamat Ulang Tahun Indonesiaku

Yaaa, jadi hari ini adalah hari kemerdekaan Republik Indonesia, tanggal 17 Agustus. Seperti tahun-tahun sebelumnya, gue wajib ikut upacara di sekolah. Dan seperti tahun-tahun sebelumnya juga, mayoritas berseru "Yaaaaah..." waktu diumumin wajib upacara. Ya iyyyalah itu berarti rutinitas pagi seperti biasa hanya untuk kurang-lebih satu jam berdiri menonton sambil diam.

Personally, gue santai aja soal upacara. Yah awalnya males sih, tapi setelah mikir itu cuma sekali setahun dan apa yang terjadi sampe tiap 17 Agustus satu negara wajib upacara, malah jadi merasa bersalah kalo ga dateng.

Jadi ya tadi pagi bangunlah gue jam 5. Ngantuk, seperti biasa. Mandi beres-beres blablabla, gue keluar rumah sekitar jaaam... 5.45? Lupa. Tapi yang gue inget jelas adalah saat gue keluar rumah ada banyak bendera di luar, both red-white ones and colourful ones. Tiba-tiba jadi seneng aja liatnya hehe.

Oh ya dan gue inget banget ya pas gue lagi jalan keluar ada one retarded pathetic little ugly lousy smelly loser yang dengan f nya teriak "masih jaman sekolah?!" ke gue. Dan he's too much of a loser buat menunjukkan wujud hinanya but perhaps harusnya gue bersyukur ngga perlu membiarkan mata gue ngeliat gituan.

Nyampe sekolah, dan ya udah upacara. Ngga terlalu rame, banyakan kelas X-nya daripada kelas XI. Berasa nasionalis? Hmm iya lumayan tapi pas upacara aja, abis itu ya udah. Yah gimana ya, mau ikut lomba-lomba gitu juga udah males, tetangga aja cuma 2 yang gue kenal hahaha gimana mau asik mainnya? Udah gitu kebanyakan mbak-mbak dan mang-mang mencurigakan yang dateng. Mungkin itu kesempatan mereka flirting-flirting kali ye, pembantu gue juga ikutan soalnya haha.

Yaa begitulah 17 Agustus gue tahun ini. Hows yours?

The Fine Art of Being Alone

I was in 9th grade when my Dad's company decided to transfer him out of town.

FYI, gue benci banget yang namanya harus pindah domisili, pindah sekolah, atau apapun yang berujung pada adaptasi total di lingkungan baru. Makanya sejak pertama denger tentang hal pindah-pindah itu, I insisted to stay, i didn't want to move. To be agreed, i know i need a reason. A very good one.

It was "Mau masuk SMA 8.". Then done, Me and my Mother stayed, while my Dad moved. My brother and sister happened to got to uni which located in that city my Dad went to. So everything was settled.

Jadi yah, sejak saat itu, keluarga gue hidup di dua kota.

Ini bukan gampang, gue bukannya ringan aja merasa gue nggak salah. I parted my own family, kalimat kaya gitu pernah juga kepikiran, sering malah. My Dad came home every weekend, but that was a big one on expenses. Belum lagi capenya dia dan lain-lain. Tapi ternyata mau-masuk-SMA-8 bener-bener jadi tujuan gue tahun itu--tahun terakhir di SMP gue--bukan sekedar reasoning kosong. Gue nyadar jugalah apa yang udah gue korbanin, makanya i want to make the most of it, for real.

Setahun pertama lewat, gue lulus, dan Alhamdulillaaaaah banget bisa masuk SMA yang gue harapkan. It felt great and... great. Pokoknya rasanya satu beban besar keangkat, asik abis.

Dan gue lupa sejak kapan, nyokap jadi sering pulang malem dan pergi dinas. Ke mana-nya macem-macem. Lamanya relatif lah. Dan yang jelas, sejak saat itu jugalah, gue jadi terbiasa, bahkan menikmati saat-saat gue sendiri, ditemani teknologi dan botol besar Coca Cola dingin.

Ngga, gue bukan kurang perhatian. Mungkin baca ini kalian bakal mikir keluarga gue kurang, tapi nggak. They're the best and the coolest, i tell you what. Mungkin not a really one typically usual family, but in a very good way.

Tapi lalu rasa terbiasa dan suka itu lama-lama... berganti?

....
Mama : Nu, besok Mama ke Bandung ya
Nunu : Haa? Yaah, padahal kan Senin libur Maah
Mama : Iya, abis pada nggak bisa pulang. Gapapa ya?
Nunu : Yaaah
Mama : Atau Nunu ikut? Tapi ga bisa, kan ada les
Nunu : ... (cemberut? kayanya sih hehe lupa gue)
Mama : Kok jadi manja sih sekarang? Dulu biasa aja.

Itu kemarin, hari ini dia sudah di sana. To be frank, gue bener-bener kaget nyokap ngomong gitu. Padahal di kepala gue kepikirnya itu kalo ini justru saat gw meminta 'hadiah' karena sudah sering bersabar saat mereka berkumpul di sana tanpa gue.

Yang kaya gini pernah kejadian sebelumnya. Gue pernah ngasih tau apa pikiran gue ke nyokap.

Dan sebagai jawaban dia bilang itu resiko. Hmmm okay gue langsung diem ngga bisa ngelawan lagi abis itu hahaha.

Gue juga ngga tau kenapa gw kecewa sedih kesel apalah pas denger long-weekend ngumpulnya di Bandung yang berarti gue udah pasti ngga bisa ikutan. Iya,ngerti. Mereka ngga bisa dateng, ada halangan. Tapi tetep aja...........

Mungkin karena di sana mereka bareng-bareng, ngga sendirian kaya gue sekarang. Mungkin karena ini long-weekend, jadi i'm expecting something fun to do. Mungkin karena gue sadar bahwa sendirian nggak seenak itu. Atau mungkin... hanya karena i miss my quality time with them.

Tadi gue mandi, keramas. Jam setengah 12 malem. Nggak ada apa-apa, I just feel like doing it. Dan rasanya enak. Mungkin gue bakal sakit besok, tapi gapapalah, paling sebentar hehe.

Dan kayanya detik ini, gue sekali lagi discover the fine art of being alone, yang padahal udah sempet gw master-in tapi hilang keapus waktu.

Bukan, gw bukan mau ngeluh soal keluarga gue, juga bukan ngeluh about the fact that tonight is Saturday night, half past one AM dan gue sendirian, blogging ditemani The Beatles dan Coca Cola.

...Cuma mau sharing

What I Like...

I like seeing passing cars
Reminds me of how alone can you be
No matter how loaded could the world be
Cause company, hates the loony

I like being passing cars
Reminds me of how I should move on
No matter how much I want to look back
Cause past, disappears fast

I like melting ice creams
Reminds me of adaptability
How you could change bigly
Yet still preserve the beauty

I like dropping rains
Reminds me of stiffness
How falling down isn't always a misery
How crashing grounds gives you adds on bravery

I like tapping tables
Reminds me of music at ambles
How simple thing could create one
Then sing along until I'm done

I like night when it's dark
Reminds me about beauty of parts
How tones used to splendidly paint
How one colour, do ain't

I like only me in my home
Reminds me of famey and mates
How together we pass each date
While whistling and went home late


I like the feeling of longing
Reminds me of big grins and chuckling
And some other silly sweet little things
That leads to nothing,
But merely loving.

15/8 2008; 7:12 PM
NFL-

Read Me.

There may be twist of smile there

My hands my hold yours

My eyes my stare to yours

But Dear,

Who dares to gaze the heart?

Who able to read what's on mind?

Lips may tell lies

But not mine, when it's you who listen

That's me.

You?

What do you see?

Say.

Me?

Can you see how I care?

And,

Love?

5/8 2008; 1:25 PM
NFL-

All-Ways

There's always a room.
Not for me,
But mine.
Not to be seen,
But, felt.


There's always a time.
Not for me,
But mine.
Not to be owned,
But, given.


...For I can recall,
What's left,
And what's fell.
Not mine,
But is me.

7/8 2008; 10:27 AM
NFL-

-____-

bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete bete

tau ah bete ah kesel pokoknya keseeel siapa yang nyadar udah bikin kesel, would you please stand up? Ayo dong kasian dong nih aaaaaaa

...Hey what do you do when you're pathetically in a bad mood? I used to drink colas, liters of colas. And as weird as it sounds, it heals. But since I got much fatter because of that, i try to stop. So... yeah, i'm looking for the new alternative.

I thought blogging would do. Right, sometimes they do, actually. But not this very moment. I don't know why i get so upset. Even too upset to eat my last slice of bread which smeared with the great-great choco paste. I just want to sit, drink, write, shut. Sleep is not on the list.

I like turning silent. Feels good, moreover if the mind starts to scramble. Like i'm having this queer monologue inside, saying all possibilities regarding the situation. Freak enough to be called a freak? Haha you tell me.

Anjrit for heaven's sake, bener2 ga ngubah mood. Still the same old annoying mood, the same ugly face expression, the same loony bad thoughts.

Help me dong, bete nih zzzzzzzzzz

Night Thought

Lagi kangen. Padahal baru ketemu. Aneh banget deh haha nggatau nih aaaaa pengen ketemu terus mukul lututnya, atau megang lesungnya, atau nyubit tangannya, atau narik lengannya, apa kek. You know punya sumber semangat rasanya asik sekali ternyata. Kaya apapun yang bikin lo males dan ga mood bisa ketahan kalo inget diantara semua itu masih ada dia, meskipun sangat sedikit porsinya kalau dibandingkan dengan overall quantity hal malesin yang harus dijalanin tersebut.

Itu keren banget lho, kaya makin hari jadi makin sadar segede apa artinya dia ada. Being used to his presence, kedengeran klise tapi dipikir makin dalem jadi makin serem. Bukan serem yang jelek, serem in its best way. Serem yang bisa nurture rasa percaya, yang bisa bisa bikin dia always that someone to rely on. What i like the most about thinking about him is that it feels pretty much like a nonstop inspiration, kaya bisa nulis segala macem, ga ada abisnya dan penuh dengan perasaan looking forward for the next thing to come. Mungkin kedengeran overrated banget ya? Gombal? Haha perhaps emang tapi who cares lah, sejauh ini masih terasa normal kok (lah pede ;p)

Pernah ngerasa hal yang sama? Dulu selalu kepikiran kenapa orang-orang bisa ngerasain yang kaya gini. Nonsense, how could you be so full with merely one so-called special person? Tapi ternyata ya bisa-bisa aja lah ya hahaha. Sekarang setelah dan sedang merasakan, i know dan percaya yang kaya gini ada, tapi masih ga bisa jelasin kenapa dan bagaimananya. How about you?

Ngga selalu bikin perasaan ada di kondisi terbaiknya. Jelas, kalo ngga ada ga enaknya, tentu itu ga worth it. Since to overcome the bads with all the goods is where the challenge lies, right? Bukan ngerasa yang paling pinter, ga. Cuma pgn nulis and since this is my very own blog, i write what i want to. So if you feel like making fun of my words, just step back off the comment field and keep it to yourself, deal? :-)

But anyways, as always, feel free to share :--)